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    SG Wants to Know: What’s your 2014 Resolution?

    7th January 2014

    2014-resolutions-style-girlfriend

    Prepare to be shocked – I’ve got just one resolution this year, guys. I know, I know, 2013 came with a laundry list, but in 2014, I’m simplifying (no, that’s not the resolution..though it’s not a bad one!).

    Here it is:

    Remove the word “SHOULD” from my vocabulary.

    Yep, this is both my style and and personal resolution for the year. Why? Well, because I can spin out into a guilt-fest faster than you can say “This year, I’m wearing only natural fibers.” Here’s a typical Tuesday morning for me as I pour a cup of coffee:

    I should really buy the better beans at a coffee shop instead of buying grounds at the grocery store. I should get a grinder, so I can grind the fancy beans I should buy each morning so my coffee is as fresh as possible.

    I should stop by that gym today after breakfast that I’ve been saying I’m going to join since November. Because I should really work out harder so I can lose five pounds and fit back in these jeans I’ve had since college. Or maybe I should just flipping buy new jeans already. They’ve had a good run. I should accept my body for what it is.

    Besides, no one would notice my new jean size if I just dressed up more. I should wear heels to meetings. I should spend more time on my makeup. I should wash my hair every other day instead of every other other day. I should color my hair again; it’s looking a little dull. Oof, my nails, I should really get a manicure.

    …See where this is going? And it doesn’t stop.

    Is all of the above true? Sure, for the most part, anyway. Does it do me any good to remind myself of it? To berate myself for it? Nope.

    And it doesn’t stop with appearance. I could keep going (but should I?! ha). I should buy organic everything. I should sit up in bed when I read at night so I could actually manage to get through more than five pages before falling asleep. I should volunteer more. Okay, I should volunteer at all. I should visit my family more. ShouldshouldshouldshouldshouldshouldSHOULD.

    I could should and shouldn’t myself to death. I don’t want to anymore.

    So 2014 is about changing the conversation, and refusing to accept the premise that “should’s” get to get me down. To accept the good “should’s” (that nagging reminder in my brain’s calendar that I haven’t called my grandma in over a month, for instance) and act upon it, and then to stop thinking about it. And for the less-useful should’s (say, those life-efficiency apps I download then never bother registering), drop ‘em altogether.

    I want to appreciate and savor and experience what’s in my present, not harp on a theoretical future, or obsess over a less-than-perfect past.

    And besides, my hair looks its best on its third day (dry shampoo works wonders), my really-not-that-much-bigger backside looks amazing in leggings, and my family loves me no matter how often I call or visit, so I might as well just learn to love the life I’ve got. And to, y’know, live it, instead of worrying my way through it.

    On here, I talk about foundational elements of your style – how to be a better dresser, a better man. I hope you never feel like my suggestions, my recommendations are a “should” to be shouldered. A “shouldn’t” that nags at you as you get dressed, as you ask that woman out for a date, as you ask for a raise. I just want us all to grow together. What I think would look good on you comes from a good place, not a “should” place. I promise.

    So that’s mine. Tell me:

    What’s your New Year’s Resolution?

    If you need help coming up with your own, here’s a few ideas from years past:

    2011

    2010 (ack!)

    (image)

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    • Tod C

      I like to keep them simple. Style wise it is upgrades – replace the cheap or thrifted workhorses of my wardrobe with higher quality/made to measure items. Already ordered a MTM sportcoat as a start.

      Personally and professionally it is focus more on the big picture and less on the right now. My main failures of 2013 were losing track of that so I am looking to where I got it wrong to get it back on track.

      It’s funny Megan look at you in your TSB Men post and look at you now. It’s amazing how much you have progressed in 2013 in the quality of what you are producing – I think you should embrace the journey as it looks like you are really moving forward.

      • http://www.stylegirlfriend.com Style Girlfriend

        Thanks Tod!

    • TJ

      Stylistically, my resolution is to buy less stuff, but buy better. For
      example, shopping less at GAP and more at Banana Republic and J Crew. It
      means I can’t buy as much stuff, but the stuff I have will be so much
      better.

      Professionally, it’s to focus on going back to school to
      get my MBA. I’ve got a book to study for the GMAT, it’s time to start
      taking it seriously.

      • http://www.stylegirlfriend.com Style Girlfriend

        Love the first (it was mine last year!), and the second is a great goal! Good luck!

        • TJ

          Thanks, I’ve already started with buying better sweaters. I got a couple from J Crew and BR and they fit and feel so much better than my GAP ones.

          • brianmo95

            I did the same thing last year and so glad I did! It will feel much more rewarding too

            • http://www.stylegirlfriend.com Style Girlfriend

              Co-signed (obviously!)

    • kellen owenby

      I have an English degree, but in the years after I graduated (2007), I really have only read a couple of books. This year I want to read more. I’m not putting a number on it, but I really want to spend more of my free time reading and not watching 4 hours of sportscenter :-)

      • http://www.stylegirlfriend.com Style Girlfriend

        Any books on your reading list you’d care to share?

        • kellen owenby

          I’m trying to compile a list…

    • http://www.twitter.com/iPodschun Derric

      Clothes: Buy at least one patterned suit. I definitely want one that’s subtle then maybe one that’s a little more loud.
      Weightlifting: Get to 315 pound squat sets and 415 pound deadlift sets. My 2013 highs were 265 and 365 respectively.
      I like goals that take a little work but I know I can hit.

      • http://www.stylegirlfriend.com Style Girlfriend

        Nice! Where are you looking for the suit?

        • http://www.twitter.com/iPodschun Derric

          J. Crew and J. Crew Factory are where I usually look but I’d like to see what gets put up when Suitsupply reopens their online outlet store.

    • http://www.Lanza-Galindo.com/ Oscar Lanza-Galindo

      Three: Read at least one book per month; Replace clothes with better quality items as I continue throughout the year; tell my wife and daughter they are the most beautiful people in the world, inside and out, every single day.

      • http://www.stylegirlfriend.com Style Girlfriend

        As a very slow reader, I say that first one’s good but would be ambitious for me! I like #2 and 3 too :)

    • Jake

      1. Get outside more.
      2. Save more, spend less.
      3. Check social media less.

      • http://www.stylegirlfriend.com Style Girlfriend

        Ha, of course I liked your resolution to “check social media less” about 2 minutes after you posted it…because I was checking social media so often :)

      • Alex

        Hey Jake, we can help with #2! We’re a shaving company called Dorco and we can save you a ton on something you’re just going to buy anyway. Our razors cost up to 70% less than leading brands. And that doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice quality, either. Read what others think of our products and our prices at DorcoUSA.com.
        To the author… Love this post, especially your focus on the present instead of dwelling on the past or future. Thanks for sharing; we wish you all the best this year!

      • AL-MO

        I hear you on the ‘check less social media’. I actually got rid (I deactivated it) of Facebook before last summer and haven’t looked back. Too much time thrown away on that site. (or on my phone checking it)

        Now that people know that I’m not on Facebook, they will just e-mail me directly important stuff as opposed to sifting through endless updates looking for it. lol

    • Adam Wyatt

      I also have one resolution: Embrace creativity.

      Sartorially speaking, I spent a good part of last year building a wardrobe [thanks for your help SG!], but I fell into a habit of buying something new every time I felt bored with my clothes. This year I plan to use what I already have and put them together in different ways to bring new life to my wardrobe. Break apart my 3-piece suit, try new color combos, and try new pattern mixtures.

      Hopefully this creativity will also seep out into other parts of my life too!

      • http://www.stylegirlfriend.com Style Girlfriend

        I love this! Excited to journey onwards into 2014 with you and your sartorial ambitions :)

    • Cooper

      You definitely “should” keep that resolution Megan; its a terrific attitude to have! Mine is pretty simple:
      Create more, consume less.
      I hope I can keep it up and keep the great blog posts coming!

      • http://www.stylegirlfriend.com Style Girlfriend

        hahah, it’s hard not to use that word, right?!

        And your resolutions are great! Can’t wait to hear about your progress throughout the year

    • AL-MO

      I don’t really have my 2014 resolutions yet. It’s not something I usually think of over the holidays. Too busy visiting people and partying.

      But I’ll probably come up with a few things over the next few weeks.

      • http://www.stylegirlfriend.com Style Girlfriend

        Can’t wait to hear what you come up with!

        • AL-MO

          I usually have an overarching goal or intended ‘mentality’ for the year. Last year was “everything in moderation”.

          As I said I haven’t come up with any specific resolutions yet, but my motto for 2014 is “JUST DO”. (It’s less a take off of mountain dew as it is Nike’s slogan minus the “it” lol) So the plan of sorts for 2014 is to just enjoy and take advantage of the opportunities and experiences that are put in front of me and that I encounter. Whether that is as simple as saying “yes” to an invite to the pub for a drink one night or on the other end of the scale snapping up a spot on a trip or available ticket to a music festival/sporting event.

          Stay tuned for some more specific resolutions lol

    • Alexander

      To go with a quote:”I don’t make resolutions, I make plans.” Admittedly, I don’t belong to the hyperbolically neat accountant-type planners, I just like to have an operational framework. In that sense:
      1. Socialize more, reading material is not gonna run away.
      2. Get an internship in a law firm.
      3. Make trans-/international business contacts. (my U.S. trip might be helpful with this)

    • brianmo95

      This is me to a T. I should call my Mom. I should have spoken up. I should have done this differently at work. I should cut the negative people out of my life (Which I’m happy To say I did). I should look for a new job. I should watch a movie ( i cant sit still). I should try hiking…. I would normally write “I think I’m going to start doing this…” But insteeeaaadd you inspired me and I’m going to say I WILL start making lists in 2014 of what i want to do and check my goals off as I accomplish them. I used to do this when I was younger and I feel liked it worked for me. I’m kind of an out of sight out of mind person. I’ll hang it up on my refrigerator and pretend it will slap me if I ignore it. Haha. Good Luck to everyone out there with your resolutions!!

      • http://www.stylegirlfriend.com Style Girlfriend

        Awesome! Glad to have you joining me in the “just go ahead and DO IT already!” camp, Brian :)

    • Adam

      My resolution is to live better. And I can summarize that of taking the approach of giving a damn.
      i.e. Eating better – give a damn about where the food I eat comes from, how it was raised, treated, etc. (shopping at farmer’s markets more and supermarkets less, askign farmers how their produce and livestock are treated, buying from butcher shops that sell products from trusted farms…)
      Health – giving a damn about how I take care of my body, and basing decisions on being the best me I can be
      Appearance – give a damn about grooming (seek the zen in these routines, the zen in the shaving routine (you are wet shaving right…? and you know that doesn’t mean shaving in the shower… I have been doing that for over a year, but swtiched to DE razor in the last part of last year, and the new routine is like my morning meditation, despite meaning i wake up 10min earlier to take the time, I finish my shave feeling more energized and confident for the day ahead), caring abour the products I use (ingredients I can pronounce, or the 15 ingredient rule, if it has more than 15 ingredients, it probably shouldn’t go on your skin…), give a damn about the clothes I wear, buy less and buy better, and take care of those investments
      Career – Give a damn about how I work and about my work. do my best at everything that I do…

      As an accompaninment to this resolution is to focus my efforts (meaning that if it’s not something i give a damn about, i probably shouldn’t be doing it).

      • http://www.stylegirlfriend.com Style Girlfriend

        Love all of these!!

        Re: grooming, would you guys want to hear about new products, etc on SG? I don’t talk about it too much, but I think it would be fun to get into it

        • AL-MO

          I’d be interested in grooming products. More specifically the better (or best) ones. There are so many products on the market I don’t really know good from bad and what to avoid.

          My 2 cents.

          • http://www.stylegirlfriend.com Style Girlfriend

            Good to know, thanks!!

            • Adam

              Agreed, I’d love to see reviews. Possibly a high/low format (i.e. review of a quality high end product, and a (decent) drug store brand, like Geo F. Trumper’s Coconut oil shave cream (doesn’t get any beter than that) as high end, and Nivea shave cream (tube, not the pressurized can goo, that is not good for anything but creating a hole in the ozone layer and skin as dry as the sahara) as a more economical option).

    • John Tripp

      As I said yesterday, mine is two-fold.

      1) Do something (small) every day to improve an area of my life by building better habits.

      2) Stay focused: don’t try to do too much at once.

      I want to focus on making small, slight changes and building on those successes.

      • http://www.stylegirlfriend.com Style Girlfriend

        Makes sense to me!

    • AL-MO

      Quilted field vest – I’d like to try it (don’t have one yet)

      Puffer vest – probably not

    • jbird669

      A great resolution to be sure!
      My only resolution is to write down all of my goals. I’ve written some down and things I do keep my on point, but having the written goal somewhere I can see it daily is what I am aiming for. And so far it’s working.

      • http://www.stylegirlfriend.com Style Girlfriend

        That’s so funny – I *just* wrote down a goal before I read this! Taped it up to my wall and everything :)

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