7th January 2014
Prepare to be shocked – I’ve got just one resolution this year, guys. I know, I know, 2013 came with a laundry list, but in 2014, I’m simplifying (no, that’s not the resolution..though it’s not a bad one!).
Here it is:
Remove the word “SHOULD” from my vocabulary.
Yep, this is both my style and and personal resolution for the year. Why? Well, because I can spin out into a guilt-fest faster than you can say “This year, I’m wearing only natural fibers.” Here’s a typical Tuesday morning for me as I pour a cup of coffee:
I should really buy the better beans at a coffee shop instead of buying grounds at the grocery store. I should get a grinder, so I can grind the fancy beans I should buy each morning so my coffee is as fresh as possible.
I should stop by that gym today after breakfast that I’ve been saying I’m going to join since November. Because I should really work out harder so I can lose five pounds and fit back in these jeans I’ve had since college. Or maybe I should just flipping buy new jeans already. They’ve had a good run. I should accept my body for what it is.
Besides, no one would notice my new jean size if I just dressed up more. I should wear heels to meetings. I should spend more time on my makeup. I should wash my hair every other day instead of every other other day. I should color my hair again; it’s looking a little dull. Oof, my nails, I should really get a manicure.
…See where this is going? And it doesn’t stop.
Is all of the above true? Sure, for the most part, anyway. Does it do me any good to remind myself of it? To berate myself for it? Nope.
And it doesn’t stop with appearance. I could keep going (but should I?! ha). I should buy organic everything. I should sit up in bed when I read at night so I could actually manage to get through more than five pages before falling asleep. I should volunteer more. Okay, I should volunteer at all. I should visit my family more. ShouldshouldshouldshouldshouldshouldSHOULD.
I could should and shouldn’t myself to death. I don’t want to anymore.
So 2014 is about changing the conversation, and refusing to accept the premise that “should’s” get to get me down. To accept the good “should’s” (that nagging reminder in my brain’s calendar that I haven’t called my grandma in over a month, for instance) and act upon it, and then to stop thinking about it. And for the less-useful should’s (say, those life-efficiency apps I download then never bother registering), drop ‘em altogether.
I want to appreciate and savor and experience what’s in my present, not harp on a theoretical future, or obsess over a less-than-perfect past.
And besides, my hair looks its best on its third day (dry shampoo works wonders), my really-not-that-much-bigger backside looks amazing in leggings, and my family loves me no matter how often I call or visit, so I might as well just learn to love the life I’ve got. And to, y’know, live it, instead of worrying my way through it.
On here, I talk about foundational elements of your style – how to be a better dresser, a better man. I hope you never feel like my suggestions, my recommendations are a “should” to be shouldered. A “shouldn’t” that nags at you as you get dressed, as you ask that woman out for a date, as you ask for a raise. I just want us all to grow together. What I think would look good on you comes from a good place, not a “should” place. I promise.
So that’s mine. Tell me:
What’s your New Year’s Resolution?
If you need help coming up with your own, here’s a few ideas from years past:
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