Style Foul

    Guys, What’s Your Worst Wardrobe Malfunction Ever?

    15th August 2013

    My brother’s best friend posted this picture to Facebook recently, and I knew I had to share with you guys:


    Nick, my brother’s grade school confidante and best man at his recent wedding, explained the footwear catastrophe:

    Had a little bit of a wardrobe malfunction at work today. Felt a breeze on my feet only to discover……the 12 year old shoes finally died. It’s my hobo fashion trend (which actually stand a decent chance of catching on in Southern California).

    At least he took the incident in stride!

    …Thank you thank you, I’ll be here all week. Tip your waitresses.

    And hopefully he had a good pair of shoes to change into at work! If not, hey, it’s California. I’m sure they’re way more relaxed about that kind of stuff there. One friend on Facebook suggested stitching up the soles, while another recommended duct tape. Both were kidding. I hope. Another marveled at the coincidence of a simultaneous breakdown, suggesting Nick’s feet “hulked out” which I enjoyed picturing in my head.

    These kind of style mishaps happen to everybody. I’ve certainly had more than my fair share. I remember a pair of Abercrombie jeans I had in college. They were artfully “distressed” aka covered in paint with holes all over them. One day, class ended and I stood up and heard a loud ”RIP-P-P-P-P-P-P.”

    The small tear in the back of my jeans under the left pocket had just become a gaping hole. The entire left pocket was now flapping loosely around my thigh. I had to sling my backpack extra loose til I got back to my dorm to change. That was one for the record books.

    Tell me:

    What’s the worst “wardrobe malfunction” you’ve ever suffered? Did anyone see before you were able to fix it?

    • K to the Poon

      once had the crotch in a pair of slacks rip while stepping up into an SUV. and this was the just the beginning of a day of ride along’s with a mentor sales rep. that was a fun one to try to hide for 8 hours. during one of his client visits i grabbed a safety pin and used that for the rest of the day. fun times…

      • Style Girlfriend

        having this kind of stuff happen when you’re at a new job is the WORST! At least my brother’s friend was able to laugh about it with his co-workers

    • kellen owenby

      I was working at a gap store a few years back and had my zipper break right at the beginning of my shift. I immediately bought a pair of jeans from the sales floor and put them on. CRISIS AVERTED.

      • Style Girlfriend


    • average joe

      I was bowling with a bunch of friends (guys and girls) and wore breakaway warm pants…the kind basketball players wear, that snap all the way up each leg so they can rip them off when they come off the bench and go in the game. As I was taking my turn to bowl, a friend got the bright idea to de-pants me, only he ripped the pants completely off, unsnapping everything. And I was wearing tighty-whiteys, which made for a VERY awkward 2 minutes as a struggled to put down a bowling ball and snap up the entire side of both pant legs which required me to bend over in my underwear in front of all my friends and the rest of the bowling alley.

      • Style Girlfriend

        Do guys ever grow out of pantsing as a prank?

        • average joe

          I hope so! This was 15 years ago, too.

    • Dan from Wisconsin

      In the locker room after sixth-grade gym I put on someone else’s pair of underwear. Still haunts me to this day.

      • kellen owenby

        I used to think my greatest fear was drowning, but this definitely takes the cake! Oh man.

    • Drew J

      So one time I was performing at the Super Bowl with some old lady…

    • scott

      Flip flop blowouts were the worst. You know, when the little plug on the bottom pulls through and you no longer have a working flip flop? I stopped wearing them several years ago, but towards the end would only buy quality flops that were stitched into the sole, none of the Old Navy garbage. A pair from there blew out on me at the lake one weekend and left me with a mile walk barefoot. My bad for trusting flip flops for the job, now my lake shoes are knockoff “Swims” from Perry Ellis:

      pricey but the best:

      • Enrique Ollero

        I hate when that happens. There’s no elegant way to hide it either – you just have to limp around, dragging your foot and gripping with your toes. One of the many times it happened to me my wife (them girlfriend) laughed at me mercilessly all the way through a restaurant (relax, it was an Ihop) and through the parking lot all the way to the car. Sher mercifully then drove us to the nearest store and let me hide my shame in the car while she went in and bought me a new pair. If I ever bring it up it still makes her laugh hysterically.

      • Adam

        For those struggling with this catastrophe, a bread tie will create a temporary bandaid; holds the “thong” portion to the sole by creating a plug. Thanks, Pinterest!

        • Style Girlfriend


    • Iain

      Going through immigration exit check at Amsterdam airport, when I realize that I’m in the wrong line. I noticed that other people were freely ducking under the steel handrails dividing the lines, so I decide to do so too. As I do this, the seams on my jeans burst, leaving my underwear completely exposed. I find myself answering questions like “what was the purpose of your visit to the Netherlands?” completely aware that the people behind me can see my underwear.

      Of course, my only choice to remedy this are expensive airport designer clothing outlets. One very expensive pair of jeans later, I make it to my flight, no longer looking like a sex-offender.

      • Style Girlfriend

        hahah, oh noooo

    • WideEyesTWBlog

      The one and only pair of pants I bought at H&M split open, ass to crotch, in the middle of the work day at a new job. To make things worse, I had no younger co-workers to laugh/commiserate with, so I snuck a stapler into the bathroom and stapled that bad boy shut. Then I worried the rest of the day about getting staples in my butt. Suffice to say, I won’t buy pants at H&M anymore!

    • ilyac

      Years ago in NY my trusty jeans (read: hanging together by what I can only assume was a single thread and almost more patch than jean) caught on something and ripped along the inside seam from my ankle to above my knee.

      Usually I’m not one to shy away from flashing some leg, but this was a bit much. I ended up having to staple them shut for the night as it was late and I could not duck into a store.

    • TJ

      I was at work one day when the heel of one of my loafers popped off. Turns out the guy who replaced them didn’t do a good job of putting them back on. I had to walk around the rest of the day limping with the one heel.
      When I was interning in college, I was at a meeting for all the interns at the apartment complex they were housing us in. I was walking by a couch when all of a sudden I hear a rip. I caught my chinos an exposed staple from a cheap couch and ripped them way up on the leg. Had to spend the rest of the meeting trying to hide the rip.

    • ATLien

      I pissed all over myself in elementary school due to a wardrobe malfunction.

      I was in fourth grade and we were using the restroom after lunch. I was taking a leak as I had done thousands of times in my life, but what I didn’t notice this time is that my belt was hanging in the direct trajectory of my urine. The urine ricocheted off the belt and splattered all down the front of my blue jeans causing it to look like the scene out of Billy Madison. Of course, none of my fellow 4th graders believed this or were willing to reason with me on what actually happened. It was quite embarrassing.

      • Adam

        You shall now, and henceforth, be called Miles Davis.

    • Mike Thompson

      I gave a presentation in front of some colleagues with my pants fly unzipped the whole time. Either nobody noticed or nobody decided to tell me about it. It was not a great feeling when I realized it about an hour after.

      I also had a friend wear two belts to work. Not sure how he accomplished that one.

      • Style Girlfriend

        I cannot even comprehend how that would happen.

    • Tod C

      I did Chinese martial arts for many years and one of things we did was a Lion Dance at members weddings. As the big guy I was in the back and my pants split right at the beginning but you still need to do the big moves to make it worthwhile. Fortunately black underpants and black pants saved some embarrassment.

      Couple is divorced now though so maybe it isn’t good luck

      • Style Girlfriend

        hahaha, oh noooo!

    • Sterling

      My hockey ass destroys my suit pants. Other than my newest suit, I’ve ripped every pair of suit pants (5 pairs) at least twice. Seat, crotch, side pockets. Tailored, made to measure, off the rack. All of them fall victim to my glutes. Fortunately, the retailers all either repaired or replaced them.

      • Tom Allan

        I managed pretty much the same thing with an at the time fairly newish suit on the way to a job interview. Solved the problem with a stapler and then got a refund for the suit later.

      • Style Girlfriend

        That’s good customer service!

    • Bob

      In high school I used to hand sew tailor my jeans to make them tighter. No, im not an emo kid lol.. This was the early 90′s and im really skinny, so i just wanted fitted jeans. Well of course my hand stitching wasnt strong enough, so the seams would come undone. Ehh, at the time i didnt really care much.

      And just today, a belt loop on my banana republic slacks (outlet store) ripped. Dont know how long it was before i noticed, but it was just flapping around.

      And worst of all, just the other day im walking through the office and i rip one. Not , clothes..ahem… I “rip” one! Its an open floor plan with no cubicles. And of course it was when i was passing one of the young cute girls. It was kinda loud with people talking , so hopefully no one heard :/

      • Style Girlfriend

        That’s not a wardrobe malfunction!

    • Austin

      I used to work at Best Buy and my pants used to rip from butt to crotch ALL THE TIME due to the amount of walking I would do. I would bend down and they would burst open. It happened to me three different times. Thank goodness there was a Kohls next to our store..

    • Kevin

      anniversary with my ex, we went to see a Broadway Play and as I was climbing the steps my jeans ripped from the zipper Portion down through the inner thigh So that there was a large flat just hanging open. I was wearing red Boxers. I then had to run for a Train with the Front of my pants ripped Open exposing red boxers. But that is nothing exceptional for New York.

      • Style Girlfriend

        Ha, very true. I’ve seen much worse on the subways here :)

    • LawDawg

      I was in a wedding in the summer of 2011 as an usher. We had to rent a tux to wear, which I know has been covered a ton here, but it wasn’t my choice. I had to take the red carpet thing (it has a fancy name when it’s for a bride, but I don’t know it) down the aisle for the bride to walk down with another usher. As soon as we got to the front with it, and laid it down, my pants ripped! I was forced to wear these tuxeudo pants that were ripped from the bottom of the zipper all the way around the gusset to 3/4 of the way up my rear. Needless to say, everyone remmebers me from the wedding.

      Anyone have an over-dressed wardrobe malfunction? I once showed up to a rehersal dinner in a seersucker suit and a bow tie, while everyone else had on shorts and a t-shirt. Whoops.

    • Spencer Boucher

      The other day I was slacklining and the butt-seam of my pants split open :O
      My girlfriend had to use about a dozen hairpins to keep my bottom from hanging out :)

    • Henry H

      Worst wardrobe malfunction was this year at Fourth of July. I bought a cheap bathing suit for the beach because my old one got destroyed surfing and hadn’t really worn the new one yet. Got to the beach and realized it was a bit too tight, but not a problem until we started playing volleyball. I went down on one knee to grab a ball that someone spiked and ripped my bathing suit straight down the front from the waistband to the bottom of the right inner thigh.

      I immediately knew what happened and somehow played it off without anyone noticing, took a cab back to our place and changed. It could’ve been a lot worse!

      • Style Girlfriend

        Ha, oh nooo!!

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